Thursday, March 15, 2018

The One Constant

Overall, I am LOVING life in Italy, and I thank God each day that I have this opportunity to be immersed into a different culture and be surrounded by wonderful people.

Despite some of my days being more "free" than others (meaning that I have a lot of free time in which I have to actively search for ways to fill) and despite struggling with where I "belong," I feel so happy and glad to be here.  Most days I find myself simply smiling, laughing, and enjoying life!  And especially as I learn more Italian and become more confident using it, I feel so successful when I can talk to and understand other people.

If you know me, you know that I love to laugh.  And I especially love to be around kindhearted, joyful people who make me laugh for no reason.  Enter: my Italian families.  

My host family consists of a mom, dad, and two boys ages 8 and 14.  They are all very kind and it is nice to live with them.  

The mom works at a pharmacy, and the dad works in a nearby city at a financial institution.  The boys arrive home from school around 4:30/5:00 daily, in which either their grandparents or their nanny comes to stay with them because the parents do not arrive home from work until 7:30/8:00. Supper is at 8:30 and then at 10:00/10:30 they go to bed.   

At the school where I am teaching at, I work with 7 different teachers, but I have one mentor teacher.  All of the teachers are absolutely wonderful.  They are always so friendly and warm towards me, and I appreciate this so much.  I have felt welcomed since the first day I walked into the school!

However, my mentor teacher is absolutely incredible, fantastic, and literally one of the most incredible people I have ever met!  She is truly the definition of a Italian mom, and I can not even explain how wonderful it is to spend time with her and her family.  I feel right at home when I am with them!  And thankfully they live right across the street from my host family, so I find myself there very often! 

However, my struggle is this: Where do I belong? Where should I spend my time?  I have two great places to call "home" here in Italy.

Besides eating too many carbs (haha), this is my main struggle lately. Perhaps I am overthinking and overanalyzing, but I just want to feel contentment and peace where I am. I want to feel loved and wanted and cherished.

And then God put on my heart: Rox, you are where you are supposed to be. Find your contentment and peace in me.  Know that I love you, want you, and cherish you.  Seek me, and find your joy here.  I will never fail you.  I am always with you.  I am your constant!

This is what I am striving to do.  I am clinging to the truth and striving to feel confident in whatever setting I find myself in, knowing that God doesn't make mistakes, and trusting that there is a reason that I am here and that I get to be surrounded by two great families.  I am focusing on what God says is true about me instead of allowing fickle feelings and circumstances determine my perception of my value or self esteem.  I am so thankful for a never changing God, for a God that is full of love, grace, promises, and peace, and a God who is with me me every moment and who is always constant. 

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Xoxo,

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